The Butterfly Conundrum
We are hardwired to care for and value children and it is a genetic imperitive that we do so. However, smothering children with 'love' is counter-productive.
Instead, ask yourself, "What would Ender Wiggins do?" Ender is the fictional prodigy hero in Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game . As a child in kindergarten he quickly discovers self-reliance as a survival tool. Ender is extremely advanced for his age and has skipped several grades and is the target for the class bully.
Not only does he decide that he must win confrontations with older, bigger kids without the (non-existent) help from adults but to make matters easier for himself he chooses to win all the future battles up-front.
He wants to stop future bullying by beating the bully so badly now that not only will that bully never bother him again but nobody else will even consider coming after him.
As parents, we are faced with the Butterfly Conundrum.