Family Bits
Loved this exchange between my Aunt Wanda, who just turned 90, and my father, 85:
WANDA: You walk like an old man.DAD: I am.
July 08, 2008
June 18, 2008
Weather In The Time of Global Warming
This is what passes for summer weather here in the Great Northwest. What with all the Glowball Worming going on, we better hope things don't get any worse.
May 03, 2008
The Butterfly Conundrum
We are hardwired to care for and value children and it is a genetic imperitive that we do so. However, smothering children with 'love' is counter-productive.
Instead, ask yourself, "What would Ender Wiggins do?" Ender is the fictional prodigy hero in Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game 
Not only does he decide that he must win confrontations with older, bigger kids without the (non-existent) help from adults but to make matters easier for himself he chooses to win all the future battles up-front.
He wants to stop future bullying by beating the bully so badly now that not only will that bully never bother him again but nobody else will even consider coming after him.
As parents, we are faced with the Butterfly Conundrum.
April 21, 2008
Word of the Day
Today's word is: adminutia
Adminutia is the tedious administrative details that drive creative people insane. Some people thrive on adminutia, thankfully. I am very glad those people exist.
March 01, 2008
Momma Said There'd Be Days Like This
Even Nature herself tires of the relentless winter gloom and every year at this time she takes a vacation. The glimpses into spring provide much-needed relief before the clouds and rains close ranks again for the remainder of the long march into Summer.
January 09, 2008
Coolest Book You've Never Heard Of
Haven't read it myself because it is so hard to find. Basically this guy jumped out of a crashing plane at 44,000 ft right into a thunderstorm, which wouldn't be so bad except that his chute auto-deployed at around 20,000 ft, hilarity ensued. What is most interesting is that his experience in the storm provided meteorologists with a lot of insight into how thunderstorms operate.
January 01, 2008
OK, Not Just Fiction
What did you do for New Year's? I sucked down Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life. Steve Martin, it turns out, is a very funny guy. Who knew? He got that way from hard work over many, many years. Being a bright fellow, he can string words together in print as well as on stage.
This is a terrific read.
December 31, 2007
Reading Fiction
The reason I try to avoid fiction was punctuated over this holiday break. I sucked up both Old Man's War and The Ghost Brigades in the past few days.
I just can't put down a good book. My time evaporates until the Spousal Unit kicks me under the covers enough times that I turn off the light, usually after 2:00 AM. But, that's the last of the fiction for a good long while.
December 20, 2007
Witness
Every now and then I'm in the right place at the right time. Not for me but for somebody else. Mostly I don't think about it in-between but as the number of these occurances pile up I do get to musing about them.
Yesterday afternoon was another one.
July 21, 2006
I Saw My First Badger...
..a split second before I ran it over.
Driving from Bellevue to Grand Junction, we were leaving Boise around 10 PM headed towards Mountain Home. East of Boise the freeway climbs slightly over some hills. The badger was scurrying across the road, moving fast enough to go from the edge of my headlight coverage area to dead in front of me in an instant. I swerved but that only made it worse.
Badgers aren't squirrels, they are bigger -- enough so that I worried about ruining my brand-new front-end alignment. Enough so that the semi truck following several hundred yards behind me swerved to avoid the carcass in the road.
March 10, 2006
Pain
We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.- Jim Rohn
Via Matt Furey.
February 28, 2006
A Quiet End
Debbie lay in the burn ICU bed, crowded by family and friends in gowns and gloves. She did not suffer from burns but from sores and wounds only the experts in this ward could hope to deal with. Even they lose a fight now and then. This was one of those times.
Everything about our bodies is analogue except for one thing: life itself. You either have it or you don't. On or off.
The nurse added a strong dose of morphine to Debbie's IV, then reduced the breathing rate on the respirator, explaining to Debbie everything she was doing. Debbie had been sedated constantly for at least a month yet the nurses always spoke to her, always told her what they were doing.
As the morphine took effect, the doctor came in and gradually brought down the respiration until the machine was doing nothing. Debbie, flanked by her mother and a cousin who is a nurse, squeezed their hands with a tremendous grip.
Debbie passed on just moments after support was withdrawn, evidence of the weakness of her condition. The cousin, who has worked with cancer patients, said she had never seen anyone go so quickly. I suspect Debbie was more ready than the rest of us.
February 27, 2006
The Conference
"What we would do," said the first female Resident, "is give her plenty of morphine so she won't feel anything then turn off the respirator. She will just drift off."
There it was: the option nobody wanted to speak but all knew was coming and was, in fact, the decision we all knew would result from the meeting. It had to come from the doctor because none of the people around the table in the conference room at Harborview could say the words.
The betrayal was complete. Not by those around the table but by Debbie's own body: a treason that began when she was merely 18 years old and will end in a day or so when we gather around her bed once again to part ways on this earth.
Debbie did nothing to deserve this fate but living and dying seem to have no connection to personal worth. Fifty-three years is far too few and while everyone who knows her will miss her terribly nobody will miss seeing her suffer, seeing her struggle with daily pain, seeing her body break down and unable to perform the simplest tasks. Today she lies in ICU, bloated from the fluids pressed into her system to support her falling blood pressure, fluids that are not exiting because of kidney failure.
And so, when the doctor placed the final option before us Debbie's father, Dwight, managed choke out, "That's what she would want." Heads nodded around the table in uniform agreement. Let her go, let her have some peace at long, long last. That she does deserve.
February 19, 2006
Let the Games Begin
This one caught my eye at the checkout stand:
Heather Locklear Files for Divorce
Heather Locklear and her rock-star husband Richie Sambora are splitting up, the actress's rep, Cece Yorke, tells PEOPLE.The opening line in Vegas for the Director taking advantage of this opportunity could not be quantified. A representative of Harrods called the odds "insurmountable." The Spousal Unit snorted and added that any improvement in those odds could be fatal.
February 14, 2006
My Valentine
No flowers, no chocolates, no following the crowd on this day. Not for my lady. She wants flowers and chocolates but not because of a holiday-card mandate. Like all women, she wants to be cherished and adored yet she finds Valentine's Day a contrivance and unnecessary.
Things she values far more than Valentine's Day: flowers on a Saturday morning, a neck rub in the evening, keeping her laptop running, holding her close, a touch on the cheek, holding hands, and simply being near each other.
I've had seventeen more years with her than expected since she diced with Death and won. Every day her talents become greater and she discovers another ability she didn't know she had. Every day is a bonus.
She is a lady and a little girl, sometimes within seconds. Her joy is irrepressible yet she cries at sad stories. She dances when nobody is looking, loves puppies beyond reason and, most incredible of all, she loves me, which defies explanation.
All I can do is everything I can to deserve her love, to keep the joy in her eyes and the smile on her face when I come through the door at the end of the day.
I would do anything for that, anything for her.
January 25, 2006
But All My Friends Are Doing It!
I'm a Porsche 911!
You have a classic style, but you're up-to-date with the latest technology. You're ambitious, competitive, and you love to win. Performance, precision, and prestige - you're one of the elite,and you know it.
Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.
January 12, 2006
Driving Lessons
The Director's Immutable Driving Law: the later a person starts driving the worse of a driver they are.
In this vast world of ours there might exist some exceptions to the law but I've yet to encounter one personally. Note, for example, people who immigrate from a non-driving environment. So much is, pardon the pun, foriegn to them: traffic laws, driving courtesies, the sheer speed and volume of other cars.
A child growing up with these things doesn't even consider them.
October 05, 2005
Vince on Winning
This is one of those great Lomardi quotes that the anti-American forces would just as soon be forgotten.
September 12, 2005
Comment Registration Turned ON
Apologies to everybody, but I've had to turn on registration for comments to stop the blog spammers.
Ferreners
I don't mean people from other nations. Let me explain.
The Spousal Unit and I had the, um, opportunity to spend some time recently with a man who enjoyed expounding on East Coast Superioritytm. He, and others from the East, found the people of the Northwest baffling beyond words. His experiences where this:
- We won't support the arts.
- We will break commitments.
- We won't make friends with people from the East. This he said right to the face of a person whom he later described as a dear friend.
From these he concludes that Northwesterners are a bunch of uncultured rainbillies. Specifically, he said we can't tell great art from mediocre.
Let me proffer an alternative explanation. What if:
- We do know good art from bad.
- We have plenty of alternatives to sitting through some peoples idea of great art. It takes a special event to get us to come indoors.
- We won't work with arrogant asses but are too polite to say so to the ass' face.
- We don't consider people who sit in our homes and insult us as good prospects for friends.
East Coast sophistication, culture, superiority? From what I've experienced it is just rude people in search of somebody to look down their noses at.
August 26, 2005
The Pursuit of Happiness
I was talking to a friend yesterday at lunch and came up with some thoughts on the concept of happiness. They are not fully fleshed out but here is the rough version.
Most people that go off in search of happiness don't find it. Why? Because happiness is not something that can be found by itself. It is the byproduct of other things and usually not the sort of things one does when one pursues it. Happiness comes from contentment with one's surroundings. It comes from the sense of fulfillment of a job well done. It doesn't come from achievement. Getting a promotion won't make you happy. It doesn't come from experience. Doing something fun doesn't cause lasting happiness. It doesn't come from change. Often people use happiness as an excuse to have an affair or get a divorce. Unfortunately, that doesn't work.
To be truly happy, the easiest way is to become content with who you are and what you have. Enjoying the present circumstances is a much more sure route to happiness than the pursuit of anything.
Think I'm on crack? Let me know in the comments.
-Godshatter
August 15, 2005
Where Director Escapes Once Again
I was driving with the Spousal Unit here, which is 30 miles past the boondocks, when I was pulled over by a county sheriff.
The last speeding ticket I had was around 1987. Since then I've gotten smarter about a few things.
In this case the officer was in an unmarked black Explorer and he paced me for quite some time. He said he had me doing 52 in a 40 mph zone plus 62 in a 50. I think I passed him and another car at one point.
I've had four speeding tickets but I've also been pulled over an additional six times without getting so much as a warning (other than verbal). This deputy scolded me, handed back my driver's license, then chased down some stupid kids on bullet bikes. I doubt he was as gracious with them.
June 25, 2005
How To Change Your Life
I believe there are people who have spent more on self-help than me. Must be but I don't know them. Books, tapes, seminars, the whole gammut. Some of it was even useful. I'm about to save you thousands of dollars and tons of grief.
I'm going to tell you several secrets to changing any aspect of your life that you desire. But here's the real secret: none of this is a secret at all.
June 12, 2005
Buford
Ever had a day like this? I know I have.
"I've never seen anything as brutally clear as this. It's as if I can actually see the blue troops in one long bloody moment, going up the long slope to the stony top, as if it were already done and already a memory. An odd, set, stony quality to it, as if tomorrow has already happened and there's nothing you can do about it. The way you feel sometimes before an ill-considered attack, knowing it will fail but you cannot stop it. You must even take part and help it fail."
The always impressive Sam Elliot as Brig. General John Buford in Gettysburg.
The Race
"The Race"
by D.H. Groberg
"Quit, Give up, You're beaten." They shout at me and plead.
"There's just too much against you now. This time you can't succeed."
And as I start to hang my head in front of failure's face,
My downward fall is broken by the memory of the race.
May 28, 2005
Praise for Elegant Distractions
Thomas Lipscomb writes a scathing critique of the Ancient Media, The Dog That Didn't Bark. He also mentions the good work by some bloggers:
There are bloggers out there today with more credibility than Dan Rather, Mary Mapes, Eason Jordan, and Linda Foley combined, and their audiences are growing.
I think I'm blushing.
Via Reverend Reynolds.
May 18, 2005
As If There Was Any Doubt
Oversimplified, to be sure, but just for laughs go take the quiz and see where you fall.
Your Political Profile |
| Overall: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal |
| Social Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal |
| Personal Responsibility: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal |
| Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal |
| Ethics: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal |
| Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal |
May 12, 2005
Sick Day Tip
If you find yourself taking a sick day with cold or flu symptoms, perhaps this isn't the best viewing choice. I'm just saying.
May 04, 2005
In Case You Were Curious
Godshatter comes from the Vernor Vinge Novel, A Fire Upon the Deep. In that world, there are extremely intelligent beings that live on the edges of the galaxy. They cannot travel to the center so they send normal beings who they use as emmissaries. These human beings have much of the superintelligence crammed into their head and their real personality is thus shattered.
I highly recommend the book by the way. If you want some hard science fiction with an amazingly detailed and alien world, check it out.
April 28, 2005
Welcome Godshatter
Elegant Distractions welcomes new contributer Godshatter. Look for mind-bogglingly incisive entries and perhaps a disagreement or two. Nothing like a good spat to get people's attention, eh?
I, for one, am anxious to see what comes of this!
April 18, 2005
The Heart of Me
From Daddy's little Angel...
...to this beautiful woman in the flutter of a hummingbird's wing.
The most painful part is moving away from the center of her life. That place is taken by another man. Rightfully so but wrenching nonetheless.